Pistachio Cake

Ingredients

• 1 box White Cake Mix
• 1 package (4 Ounce) Pistachio Instant Pudding Mix
• 1/2 c. Orange Juice
• 1/2 c. Water
• 1/2 c. Vegetable Oil
• 4 whole Eggs
• 3/4 c. Chocolate Syrup (such As Hershey’s)

---

Warning: This is an extremely complicated recipe. Enter only if your skill level in the kitchen is very advanced. You have to forage for native-grown pistachios, then brine them and extract the nutmeat from the shells at just the right time. After that, you have to go through a lengthy process of drawing out the natural oils from the pistachios, which you’ll add to the cake, then rub on your wrist for good luck.

Okay, so I’m just kidding.

You don’t need native pistachios.

I don’t even know what native pistachios are.

You don’t even need pistachios at all. This is just a good old fashioned potluck cake straight from our old church cookbook. It’s a classic old-time cake, perfect if you need something quick.

You need this!

Hardee har har!

Har.

This is another potluck-friendly cake—a throwback to the seventies, when my dad had thick sideburns and a pair bicentennial white slacks with grosgrain American flags down the sides of the legs.

Dad, Dad, Dad. We need to talk.

The complete Cast of Characters: white cake mix, pistachio pudding, orange juice, vegetable oil, eggs, and Hershey’s (chocolate) syrup.

Yes, it’s true.

Add the white cake mix to a mixing bowl with the pistachio pudding mix.

Add oil…

Water…

Orange juice…

And four eggs.

Blend in an electric mixer for two minutes, scraping the sides of the bowl at least once during the process.

Green!

(And I actually think you add a tiny bit of green gel food coloring if you really wanted to emphasize the color.)

(Don’t tell anyone I said that.)

Grease and flour a bundt pan…

Then pour in 3/4 of the cake batter.

Return the bowl to the mixer, then pour in some chocolate syrup.

Weird, huh?

Blend it for a few seconds until it’s combined…

Then pour the chocolate batter over the pistachio batter.

I love the color combo here.

Bake this for about an hour in the center of the oven, until the cake is no longer jiggly like my arms.

Done!

Now let the cake sit for a few minutes…

Then invert whatever serving plate you’re going to use on top of the bundt pan.

And turn it upside down.

Hold your breath, squint, and brace yourself…the carefully lift off the pan.

This can be a triumphant or tragic moment, depending on the outcome.

And that’s it! Nothing fancy at all. This makes for a nice, moist bundt cake. I will say that the flavor of the pistachio pudding is quite faint; if I had some pistachio extract, I would have added a drop or two. Still yummy though!

And there are several variations you can make to this cake. First, you can get fancy with the two batters—swirl them around just a bit before baking for more of a marble cake effect. Another thing I wanted to do (but ran out of time) was coat the entire cake with ganache, then sprinkle chopped pistachios all over the top. That would elevate this cake mix delight to another level. Or just serve a slice of the plain cake with a scoop of chocolate or vanilla ice cream, and sprinkle chopped pistachios over the top.

Enjoy, guys!

Salty recipe coming tomorrow, in case your sweet tooth is on overdrive.