Dear Gluten-Free Goddess,
Not another strawberry recipe. Please. And a cake recipe at that? Pfffft. I’ve had it with all your so called strawberry deliciousness. Will you just get over it already? (What do you think this is, strawberry season?) I’m totally bored with the whole strawberry thing. Good Gracious Lord In Heaven.
Where the bleep are the broccolini recipes? The watercress and sardine tarts? The marinated scapes, head cheese, and tripe? Where’s your squid ink linguini recipe? And croissants! I can’t find them anywhere.
And must I beg you for boutique bean recipes? You of all people- living in your precious New Mexico desert. Or have you moved to Hollyweird now (that figures). I need boutique heirloom bean recipes. I need my daily local vegan fiber, if you get my drift.
Hmm? None of the above?
Figures.
But I forgive you, I guess. You’re only human. You’re not an actual living breathing goddess as I’m all too sure you’re aware. Right?
So I say this with love— and I’m your biggest fan, by the way. I’ve even won a recipe contest or two using your recipes. How cool is THAT?
I have a question for you— since you are such a
know-it-allmaven.
Hope you don’t mind helping me out here. I know you’re probably super busy and all, but. I guess I feel I’m entitled. Because I’m such a fan. Here goes.
Why does gluten-free vegan baking suck rocks?
I mean, just in a general kind of way. It really, truly sucks! I’m not exaggerating or indulging in hyperboloid or whatever you call it.
I’m having some trouble lately. I followed your directions. Well, mostly. I did change a few ingredients. Because you use WAY TOO much sugar and fat. So I took out the sugar. And most of the fat. I used prune puree and mashed black beans. And I switched the starch to teff flour to increase the protein ratio. I threw in boiled flax gel. But still.
It turned out well, just icky.Maybe it’s the whole weird flour thing. The kids (spoiled brats) won’t eat that quinoa stuff. And my husband can’t stand the smell of buckwheat flour. And don’t even mention tapioca. Not in this house.
And while we’re at it? Some friendly advice.
Can you just skip the unbearable intros? You’re so self-satisfied. Could you be any more full of yourself? And keep your political insinuations to yourself too, wouldja please? Not everyone is a bleeding heart rainbow diversity blah blah tree hugger believing in HOPE and peace and equal rights and affordable health care like you.
Some of us actually uphold the family unit as God intended. We honor the sacrament of marriage. Well, the 45% of us who don’t end up in divorce court do, anyway. After all, this is a FOOD BLOG. Isn’t the RECIPE the point? A sincere piece of advice— just post the recipe. Nix the philosophical stuff. I don’t really get it anyway, what you write. And I’m sure I’m not alone in this. Your writing is a little weird and I’m almost certain it’s subversive in some sorta artsy feminist manifesto way.Oh, and one last request. Aside from the whole vegan batter looking like snot thing. What the hell is xanthan gum, anyway? And which store in my town carries it?
Looking forward to hearing from you ASAP!
Buggy Nudnik
PS: By the way, I decided last night to start my own gluten-free vegan baking business. My goal is either to start up a bakery or be a personal gluten-free vegan chef. I figure I’m getting to be such an expert on this gluten-free baking thing, I might as well get PAID for it. So thanks for all your recipes. I’ll be using them. Thought you be honored.
Karina’s Gluten-Free Strawberry Cobbler Cake Recipe
Recipe published June 2009.
The key word in this cake is rustic- due to the grainy cornmeal. I used a combo of hefty flours because I personally like a whole grain kind of feel in a cobbler cake like this.
For the strawberries:
1 heaping pint of fresh strawberries, washed, patted dry
A sprinkle of lemon or lime juice
2 tablespoons organic sugar
Dry ingredients:
2/3 cup certified gluten-free cornmeal
1/3 cup GF buckwheat flour, GF millet flour, or brown rice flour
2/3 cup sorghum flour
1 teaspoon xanthan gum
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 1/2 teaspoons aluminum-free baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2/3 cup organic light brown sugar, packed
Pinch of nutmeg- just a hint
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Wet ingredients:
1/4 cup light olive oil
1 cup hemp or rice milk, warm
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice or light tasting rice vinegar
3 tablespoons raw organic agave nectar or honey
2 teaspoons bourbon vanilla extract
Egg replacer for 2 eggs- I used Ener-G Egg Replacer whisked with warm water
Organic raw sugar for the top, if desired (it makes a lovely crunchy top)
Instructions:
Preheat the oven to 350ºF.
Warm up a seasoned 10-inch skillet (or use a hefty cake pan or casserole dish). I rubbed mine with a little light olive oil. Set aside.
Stem the strawberries; cut them in half; toss them into a bowl and sprinkle with a little bit of lemon juice and 2 tablespoons organic sugar. Set aside.
In a large mixing bowl, use a whisk to combine your dry ingredients: cornmeal, buckwheat and white rice flours, xanthan gum, sea salt, baking powder, baking soda, brown sugar, nutmeg, and cinnamon. Set aside.
In a smaller bowl combine the wet ingredients: light olive oil, hemp milk, vinegar, agave, vanilla, egg replacer (or egg). Whisk till combined.
Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and lightly mix by hand until combined- don’t over-beat (it isn’t necessary).
Drain the strawberries and pour them into the warm skillet (reserve several for the top, as I did, if you like).
Spoon the batter onto the strawberries. Place the reserved berries on top, cut side down, pressing in slightly.
Sprinkle the whole top with organic raw sugar crystals.
Bake in the center of a preheated oven for 40 to 50 minutes, depending upon your altitude and oven (here at 6,700 feet it took 47 minutes).
Test for doneness by not only touching the top- it should be golden and firm- but by using a cake tester inserted into the center; it should emerge clean.
Place the skillet on a wire cooling rack to cool.
Serve slices warm or at room temperature. Wrap leftover slices in foil; bag and freeze. Thaw to room temperature or warm gently before consuming.
Makes about 8-10 wedges.
Recipe Source: glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com
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